Aşkım, canım, hayatım: Turkish terms of endearment and how people really use them
What aşkım, canım, hayatım and bir tanem really mean, who says them to whom, how to say I love you in Turkish, and how to answer. With real clips of native speakers.
Chief Language Pedagogy Geek @ Reelang
Your partner calls you aşkım. Your mother-in-law calls you canım, and so does the woman at the bakery. In a Turkish series, a father calls his grown son "oğlum" and a mother calls her little daughter "annem", which literally means "my mother". Turkish has a lot of words of affection, and people use them all day, with many more people than just their partner.
Here are the common ones, what they mean word for word, and who says them to whom:
| Word | Literally | Who says it |
|---|---|---|
| aşkım | my love | partners, and sometimes close female friends |
| canım | my soul, my life | almost anyone: partners, family, friends, teachers, shopkeepers |
| hayatım | my life | partners, parents to children |
| bir tanem (bitanem) | my one and only | partners, parents to children |
| tatlım | my sweet | friends, partners, sometimes a little cool |
| bebeğim | my baby | partners, parents to small children |
| güzelim | my beautiful | partners, older siblings and adults to girls |
| kuzum, yavrum, balım | my lamb, my little one, my honey | parents and grandparents to children |
| anneciğim, babacığım | my dear mom, my dear dad | children to parents, and parents back to children |
| oğlum, kızım | my son, my daughter | parents to children, and friends to each other |
The ending -ım, -im, -um or -üm means "my". Aşk is love, so aşkım is "my love". Can is soul, so canım is "my soul". You will also see these words without Turkish letters, as askim, canim, hayatim or bebegim, because many people type on keyboards without ş, ı and ğ.
Below, each word with real clips of native speakers, plus how to say "I love you" and how to answer. Tap any word in the subtitles to see what it means.
Seni seviyorum: I love you in Turkish
"I love you" in Turkish is seni seviyorum. Seni means "you" (as the object), and seviyorum means "I love". Say it like "seh-nee seh-vee-yo-room". To make it stronger, add çok (very): seni çok seviyorum, "I love you very much". The answer is ben de seni seviyorum, "I love you too", or just ben de seni, or even shorter, ben de.
Here a son ends a phone call with his mother. Listen for anneciğim before the "I love you", and the answer right after it:
Between partners, seni seviyorum carries real weight. People say it at big moments, and it often comes before a serious question. In this clip, it comes right before a marriage proposal:
How often people say it depends on the couple and the family, like anywhere. In many families you hear canım or kuzum far more often than seni seviyorum. And in a comedy sketch, a husband who says it too often becomes a suspect. Here a woman tells her friend that her husband said seni seviyorum three times:
The friend answers "are you crazy, girl?" (the subtitle drops a letter from manyak, crazy). Notice kızım, "my daughter", said to a grown-up friend. More about that below.
Two things to know about sevmek, the verb in seviyorum. First, it also means "to like": çayı seviyorum is "I like tea". Second, for a crush, Turkish has a softer verb: senden hoşlanıyorum, "I like you". Seni seviyorum is the step after that.
Aşkım: my love
Aşk is romantic love, the strong kind. Aşkım, "my love", is the word most Turkish couples use for each other every day. It works as a name: you say it at the start or the end of a sentence, in the same place where you would put the person's name. Aşkım, denize girelim mi? "My love, shall we go in the sea?"
This couple says it in every line. Listen to how short and normal it sounds:
Aşkım does not have to sound sweet. People use it in small fights and jokes too, with the same tone you would use for "honey" in "no, honey, that's not happening":
Saçmalama means "don't be silly". So no BMW.
Outside couples, you will also hear aşkım between close female friends, and from some TV hosts and influencers who talk to everyone that way. It sounds warm and a bit dramatic. A man calling a male friend aşkım is usually a joke. If you are not sure, keep aşkım for your partner.
Canım: my soul, and almost everyone's
Can means "soul" or "life". Canım, "my soul", is the most useful word in this article, because it is not only for couples. Partners say it, but so do parents, grandparents, friends, neighbors, teachers and the man selling simit. It is closer to the British "love" or "dear" than to "my love".
Here a teacher answers a student. Nothing romantic, just friendly:
Between friends, especially women, canım is everywhere. It can be sincere, and it can also be polite with a smile on top. In this sketch, two "friends" call each other canım while one of them hopes the other's relationship ends soon:
That is canım in daily life: the word stays the same, and the tone tells you what the person means.
Canım benim and canımın içi
Canım benim means "my canım", with benim (my) added at the end for extra warmth. People say it when they hug someone, when they see a sweet photo, or when a friend arrives. But the same phrase, said flat, is sarcastic: "there are drinks, but nobody here is your servant, my dear". Listen to this one:
"Git mutfaktan al" means "go get it from the kitchen". The canım benim makes the line sharper.
Canımın içi goes one step further: "the inside of my soul". It is very warm, the thing you say to a child, a grandchild or someone who just did something kind for you. Here it is said to a neighbor:
Yok canım and the other canım
Canım also turns up in short reactions. "Yok canım" means "oh no, not at all" or "come on, really?", depending on the tone. "Ne ... canım?" is a friendly way to wave something away. You will hear "tamam canım" (okay, dear) at the end of countless phone calls.
And one canım is not affection at all. "Canım çekti" means "I'm craving it", and "canım istemiyor" means "I don't feel like it". Here can means appetite or desire, and you can tell by the verb that follows.
Hayatım: my life
Hayat means "life", so hayatım is "my life". It is a little more grown-up and a little less playful than aşkım. Married couples use it a lot, often at the start of a sentence: "Hayatım, ..." Parents say it to their children too.
Some people use it so much that they stop using the other person's name. This sketch is about exactly that:
The son says "you never call mom by her name, you say hayatım, sevgilim and so on". The father whispers that he forgot it two years ago, and asks him not to tell. Sevgilim, "my darling", is another word for a partner. Sevgili on its own is the normal word for a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Be careful with hayatım in other sentences. "Meslek hayatım boyunca" means "in my whole working life". Only when it stands alone, like a name, is it affection.
Bir tanem (bitanem): my one and only
Bir tane means "one piece", the phrase you use when you count things: bir tane çay, one tea. Bir tanem is "my only one". It is soft and tender. People write it as two words (bir tanem) or one (bitanem, birtanem), and the meaning is the same.
Here a husband has just bought his wife a car:
"Hayırlı uğurlu olsun" is what you say to someone with a new car, house or job: may it bring you luck. Parents use bir tanem with children too, often as "bir tanem benim" while doing their hair or tucking them in.
Tatlım, bebeğim, güzelim
These three are common, but each has its own color.
Tatlı means "sweet", and also "dessert". Tatlım, "my sweet", is used between friends and partners, and it can be a little cool or teasing, like "sweetie" in English. In this clip, someone teases a close friend about a portable fan. Listen for Duygucum at the start, the friend's name Duygu with the short affectionate ending -cum:
Watch out for the dessert meaning. In a cooking video, "tatlım hazır" means "my dessert is ready", not "my sweetheart is ready".
Bebeğim, "my baby", is for partners and for small children. Between partners it can sound a bit like a movie, and some people find it too much. Here one partner corrects the other about how they met:
Güzel means "beautiful". Güzelim, "my beautiful", goes from partners to children, and from older people to younger girls. Here a big brother says no to his little sister. She tries canım abi, "dear big brother", and it doesn't work:
Şirinlik yapma means "don't try to be cute". Güzelim can also mean "I am beautiful" (güzel + -im, "I am"), so "ben güzelim" is about yourself. Context makes it clear.
Kuzum, yavrum, balım: words for children
These words come mostly from parents and grandparents, and you will hear them all over family vlogs. Kuzu is a lamb, so kuzum is "my lamb". Yavru is the young of an animal, a cub or puppy, so yavrum is "my little one". Bal is honey, so balım is "my honey".
Here a parent sends the kids to breakfast. Listen for "oy kuzum benim" and, at the end, oğluşum, a cute form of oğlum (my son):
Adults use these words with adults too, but then it sounds like a parent talking. A grandmother can call a 40-year-old man yavrum and nobody finds it strange. From a stranger your own age, yavrum can sound like "honey" from a stranger in English: friendly or a bit cheeky.
Turkish mothers often call their children by the word for mother: annem (my mom) or anneciğim (my dear mom). Fathers do the same with babam or babacığım. It means "my child", said from the parent's side. In this scene from a family series, a mother gets her son ready to leave. Listen for anneciğim and annem, both said to the child:
So when a mother-in-law says "gel annem" (come, my mom) to your child, she has not mixed anyone up.
Cicim, "sweetie", is another one from this family. It is a bit old-fashioned and playful. In our Turkish catalog it barely turns up outside children's songs.
Anneciğim, babacığım: the -cığım ending
Turkish has an ending that makes any word smaller and sweeter: -cık, plus "my". Together they sound like -cığım, -ciğim, -cuğum or -cüğüm, matching the vowels of the word (and -çığım after some consonants, as in Mehmetçiğim). Anne becomes anneciğim, baba becomes babacığım, abla (big sister) becomes ablacığım. In fast speech it often shrinks to -cım or -cim: ablacım, annecim.
Children use it when they want something, or when they are being extra sweet. Here a girl brings her father tea:
The father answers with kızım, "my daughter". That's the usual pair: the child says babacığım or anneciğim, the parent answers kızım, oğlum, or one of the words from the section above.
You can put -cığım on a first name too. Ayşeciğim, Mehmetçiğim and Salihacığım are warm ways to greet a friend. Here a friend arrives late to a gathering:
"Hoş geldin" (welcome) gets the answer "hoş bulduk", and here the answer comes with canım benim.
It also works with words for strangers. Amca (uncle) is what you call an older man you don't know, and amcacığım is a kind version of it. In this social experiment, a young man plays an old man, and a passer-by helps him cross the road:
The "old man" says evladım, "my child", to a young man he has never met. That is normal: older people call younger strangers evladım, yavrum, oğlum or kızım, and it is polite.
Oğlum and kızım: for your kids, and for your friends
Oğlum means "my son" and kızım means "my daughter". Parents use them with their children all the time, at any age. In-laws often call a new daughter-in-law kızım, which is a kind sign that you belong to the family.
But you will also hear oğlum and kızım between friends of the same age, like "dude" or "girl" in English. "Oğlum, nerede kaldın?" between two young men means "dude, where have you been?". "Kızım, sen deli misin?" between two women means "girl, are you crazy?", like the friend in the "three times I love you" clip above. With friends it is casual and a bit rough, so don't use it with your boss or your in-laws.
How to answer these words
When someone calls you by one of these words, you don't have to give one back. A shopkeeper who says "buyur canım" (go ahead, dear) only needs a teşekkürler, thank you.
With your partner and family, people often answer with efendim plus a word of affection. Efendim is how you say "yes?" when someone calls your name or picks up the phone. Here a man picks up a voice call from his wife in a baklava shop:
Efendim hayatım? Yes, my life? Then tamam canım: okay, dear. Two words of affection in two seconds, in the middle of buying baklava.
Some easy answers that work:
- "Efendim aşkım?" or "Efendim canım?" when your partner calls you.
- "Ben de seni" when someone says seni seviyorum.
- "Sen de canım" or "Canım benim" when someone says something sweet to you.
- "Sağ ol canım" (thanks, dear) to a friend or an older relative.
For the other small words that fill Turkish conversations, like tamam, yani and abi, see Turkish words you hear every day.
Hear them in real conversations
A table tells you what aşkım means. Hearing it a hundred times, from couples, mothers, friends and the man at the baklava shop, tells you how it feels. That is what Reelang is for: short videos of native Turkish speakers, with subtitles you can tap, at your level.
Start with Turkish videos at your level, or open the app and let the feed pick for you. Count how many times you hear canım in one evening.
Questions and answers
How do you say I love you in Turkish?
I love you in Turkish is "seni seviyorum" (say it like seh-nee seh-vee-yo-room). "Seni çok seviyorum" means "I love you very much". To answer, say "ben de seni seviyorum", or just "ben de seni" (I love you too).
What does aşkım mean?
Aşkım means "my love". Aşk is romantic love and -ım means "my". It is the everyday word Turkish couples use for each other, like a name at the start or end of a sentence. Close female friends sometimes use it too. Without Turkish letters it is written askim.
What does canım mean?
Canım literally means "my soul" or "my life" (can is soul). In practice it means "dear" or "love" and is used with almost anyone: partners, children, friends, students, customers. "Canım benim" is a warmer version, and "canımın içi" (the inside of my soul) is warmer still.
Can I call a friend canım?
Yes. Canım is one of the few Turkish words of endearment that is not romantic. Friends, neighbors, teachers and shopkeepers all use it. Keep aşkım, hayatım and bebeğim for your partner.
What is the difference between aşkım and canım?
Aşkım (my love) is romantic and mostly for your partner. Canım (my soul) is warm but not romantic, so you can say it to friends, family and even strangers. Couples use both, often in the same sentence.
What does hayatım mean?
Hayatım means "my life". Couples use it, especially married couples, and parents say it to their children. In a normal sentence like "meslek hayatım" (my working life) it just means life, not affection.
What does bitanem mean?
Bitanem, also written birtanem or bir tanem, means "my one and only". Bir tane is "one piece". Partners say it to each other and parents say it to their children. It sounds soft and tender.
Why do Turkish mothers call their children anne or annem?
When a Turkish mother says "annem" or "anneciğim" (my mom, my dear mom) to her child, she means "my child". Fathers do the same with "babam" or "babacığım". It is a common, affectionate way to talk to children, not a mistake.
How do you answer when someone calls you aşkım or canım?
With a partner or family member, answer "efendim aşkım?" or "efendim canım?" (yes, my love? yes, dear?). To something sweet, say "canım benim" or "sen de canım". From a shopkeeper, a simple "teşekkürler" (thank you) is enough.
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