Why do Vietnamese strangers call each other “em” and “chị”?
Đối thoại mua hàng khi quên mang tiền và thẻ
A2 Vietnamese listening practice · Southern Vietnamese · Curated for beginners
Vietnamese tends to avoid neutral pronouns like English “I” and “you” in casual speech. Speakers instead pick a family word based on apparent age difference, even with strangers. A younger person addressing a slightly older woman uses chị (“older sister”) and refers to herself as em (“younger sibling”). A younger man uses anh (“older brother”) for an older man. The choice maps the whole conversation into a family-shaped hierarchy.
This clip is a small-shop scene: the customer (em) forgot her cash and card, the older shopkeeper (chị) lets her come back tomorrow. The pronoun choice turns a money-awkward moment into something gentler, a younger sister apologizing to an older one.
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Source: wordfreq 3.1.1 (general) · OpenSubtitles 2018 (HermitDave) (spoken). Buckets approximate; exact ranks not stored.
- ▸In every Vietnamese small-shop transaction (street vendors, traditional markets)
- ▸In Vietnamese family dramas and TV serials (Sống Chung Với Mẹ Chồng, Người Phán Xử)
- ▸In Vietnamese customer-service phone calls
- ▸In Vietnamese coffee shops between baristas and customers
- ▸In Vietnamese workplace conversation between colleagues of different ages